O-BA-MA, O-BA-MA

Obama’s Victory Speech

Subdued, yet powerful. Forward-thinking and at the same time, moving. This is perhaps the greatest presidential acceptance speech of all time.

source: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7567972121930070914&hl=en

The World’s View of Obama’s Win

Malaysia

What seemed audacious and improbable before is now a reality. In Obama’s victory are sown the seeds of great expectations that a truly new chapter will be written in the history of the world.

Muslim nations will have cause to celebrate this triumph; it offers prospects for genuine dialogue and engagement and should witness the politics of diplomacy supplant the politics of war and the theology of terror. Other nations traditionally at loggerheads with America may find reason to reciprocate to a more balanced approach.

—By Anwar Ibrahim
Former Deputy Prime Minister

Czech Republic

With all respect to Senator McCain, whom I know and whom I find very sympathetic, I am more glad that Barack Obama won the election. I have an intense impression that a fresh wind will drift into the Washington air upon his arrival, that he will be a President of a new generation — a new type, with a great understanding of the multicultural nature of the contemporary world.

—By Vaclav Havel
Playwright and former President

France

The skeptics can go on repeating ad nauseam that an Obama presidency will change nothing about American hyperpower and the reprobation it elicits. Anti-Americanism will not disappear as though by magic, but its life will get harder. It will have to revise its arguments. Planetary shock wave? Another, geopolitical New Deal? One thing is sure — which places a heavy, metahistorical responsibility on the new President’s shoulders: never will an American election have excited in the rest of the world a hope at once so crazy and so reasoned.

—By Bernard-Henri Lévy
Writer and philosopher

South Africa

A new era has dawned for Africa and for the entire world. It is almost like what happened in South Africa after Nelson Mandela became the first democratically elected President of that land. Then, as now, people of color everywhere — in Africa, in the U.S., everywhere in the world — had a new spring in their walk. They held their heads high, and their shoulders were straighter.

Obama’s election has given hope to people everywhere that change is possible, that this debilitating status quo of a polarized world of “them” and “us” can change. People the world over want the U.S. to take its rightful place as leader in the commonwealth of nations. They want to see a U.S. without the arrogant unilateralism that led to the disastrous Iraq invasion, to the rejection of the Kyoto Protocol and the refusal to sign the Rome Statute establishing the International Criminal Court. All this left the world resenting a bullyboy U.S.

The world now expects the new President to close down that abomination, Guantánamo Bay; to bring viable initiatives for peace in the Middle East; to bolster a good Bush project, the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR); to take real notice of Africa and other developing parts of our global village.

Today, those who want to end the scourges of poverty, disease and ignorance, those who want to promote justice, peace and greater tolerance among different faiths are celebrating because Barack Obama is the new President of the United States.

—By Desmond Tutu
Archbishop emeritus

Spain

Any decision made by Americans, who hold the political power in one of history’s most outstanding democracies, would have been respected by Spain and its government. Yet the election of Senator Obama as President of the United States of America, apart from deserving my respect, makes me feel deeply satisfied. Because we share the same vision about the need to face the current challenges: to reform the financial system after the first global crisis of the globalized economy; to fight against inequality and in favor of inclusive, united societies; to defend sustainable development and face up to the consequences of climatic change. We also share a zeal to effectively prevent terrorism and other threats that haunt our security. We both see dialogue as a useful instrument to reduce and avoid conflicts, and recognize the legitimacy of international rule of law and we respect human rights. Cooperation with the government of Spain, whose democracy has always been a friend and a faithful partner of the American democracy, can be particularly useful in reaching these objectives. In this complex period our world is facing, Barack Obama’s election has kindled a feeling of hope, one that most Spanish citizens and Europeans share, and one that reflects a shared confidence in the real capacity to build a better world.

—By José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, Prime Minister of Spain

India

The most important thing that Barack Obama brings to the presidency is his willingness to reason. He won his presidency not as a black American but as a reasoning American who happens to be black. America needs a change from the reign of “obtruding false rules pranked in reason’s garb” — to use John Milton’s words. Attacking Iraq for an imagined link with 9/11 was daft. Having unaffordable health care is not a reasonable way to run a rich society. Destroying the environment is not smart. Spreading the wealth a bit in a deeply unequal society is not as offensive to reason as it appeared to Joe the noncertified Plumber.

The economic crisis has been caused by doctrinaire economic policies, and the solution calls for remedial actions that are reasoned — and seen to be reasoned, to generate confidence. In politics, the alienation of the world is not only because the U.S. has been so unilateral but also because the unilateral choices often have been so dumb.

Reasoning also demands re-examination. Obama has to reassess whether he has got the right balance in policies on trade. On Afghanistan, he must examine how to balance his military toughness with the building of social infrastructure there and finding ways and means of getting Pakistan’s energetic — and largely secular — civil society on his side, not against him. Obama may have to reassess some of his campaign rhetoric while firmly retaining his largehearted reasonableness.

—By Amartya Sen
Nobel Prize–winning economist

Britain

When he spoke in Berlin on July 24, Senator Obama pledged to work with Europe in a spirit of “constant cooperation, strong institutions and shared sacrifice.” That is precisely what we want to do. Our highest priority must be to meet the current challenges in the global economy, building a stable and effective international financial system and addressing the threat of climate change. Second, we must commit to tackle at root violent extremism, in particular in Afghanistan and Pakistan. And third, we must make the search for a comprehensive settlement in the Middle East a top priority.

—By David Miliband
Foreign Secretary

Kenya

The election of Barack Obama has many far-reaching and historic implications that go far beyond the borders of the United States. I am personally delighted not simply because Mr. Obama has one Kenyan parent and is a real African American but more so because of his many personal talents and breadth of knowledge as an exceptional human being. I believe Mr. Obama exhibits many of the best characteristics of our species in terms of intelligence, sensitivity, resolve and a willingness to reason.

While I am well aware of the many domestic issues that face the U.S., the future of the planet and its inhabitants is a greater concern for me. We all need an American leader who is not inward-looking and leading a self-interested superpower. The challenges we now face are less military and are far more daunting. Climate change and its global effects have to be as important for the U.S. and the world as anything else I can think of. The impact of the growing human population, in terms of resources and equity, on global underdevelopment, diseases and the shortages of water (and energy) are frankly terrifying. Solutions will require inspired leadership. We all require a President who will remain calm, focused and hopeful.

Well done, America, your democracy has delivered.

—By Richard Leakey
Conservationist

Germany

Up to 8 out of 10 West Europeans would have voted for Obama, which points to a religious rather than political phenomenon. The way they see it, George W. Bush is a one-man axis of evil, and Obama the redeemer: “Deliver us, for thine is the kingdom . . .” Europeans want to love America again, and they imagine that a simple act of exorcism (called “elections”) will rid them of the curse. But politics is not about redemption. Obama is not what West Europeans dream he is: polite, social-democratic and pacific. In other words, more European than American. Will the Euroswooners still love Obama when he presses them for more troops in Afghanistan and real sanctions on Iran?

—By Josef Joffe
Journalist and political scientist

Egypt

The President-elect is an African-American Christian with a Muslim father who lived across many continents and came from humble beginnings. This sends a powerful message to the rest of the world about the need for diversity and building bridges, values that are at the core of any efforts to create a world at peace with itself. I am encouraged by President-elect Obama’s statements about establishing a world free from nuclear weapons and about the importance of dialogue. I trust that the fog will be lifted on efforts for meaningful nuclear-arms-control measures. I also hope that conditions will be created soon for direct U.S.-Iran negotiations, which are key for durable peace and security in the Middle East.

—By Mohamed ElBaradei
Director General, IAEA

Singapore

Obama’s election will significantly reduce anti-Americanism: once again the majority of the world’s population will whisper, “Only in America” could this happen. It will make a huge dent in the strong silent prejudice against blacks in many societies, from America to Europe, from Latin America to Asia. And if we can reduce this deep ethnic prejudice, we may have hope for other ethnic divides, like those between Israelis and Palestinians, or Tamils and Sinhalese. If we can finally focus on our common humanity, we have a real opportunity to create a better world.

—By Kishore Mahbubani
Professor, National University of Singapore

source: http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/0,28757,1856584,00.html

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The 8 Most Obnoxious Internet Commenters

Under every video on YouTube or Break, and under every story on Digg or even right here on Cracked, there is a mini-culture that forms down in the comment section. The hit-and-run nature of the comments means it’s fertile ground for some really annoying personalities to thrive.

These are the eight commenter personality types you’d most like to avoid, but can’t because they’re freaking everywhere.

Typical Comment

“FAKE! Did you see how that guy exploded just BEFORE he hit the tree. Fake, don’t waste my time.”

Who Are They?

They like to think of themselves as the jaded skeptic in a world full of gullible sheeple, determined to be a flickering light of truth in a dark internet full of lies and fake viral videos. “No one could really fart on a birthday cake that way!”

Why We Hate Them:

The guys we’re talking about here are the knee-jerk skeptics, the ones who take it too far. They have an automatic reaction to call “fake” on pretty much any video that shows anything remotely remarkable happening. They’re not doing it in some grand quest for truth, they just want to feel smarter than the room and generally suck all of the wonder out of the world.

This is the internet, if we want to believe some dudes can catch sunglasses on their face like that, who are they to take that from us, dammit!

Actual Examples:

Typical Comment:

“Holy shit!!!!!! That was fukin awsome! but IF that guy did that to me id kill him fuk”

Who Are They?

We think this guy is the same ‘roid-monkey, blond-haired, fake tan, lip-pouting douche bag who made your high school life hell. He is the same guy who would have called you “dweeb” if you lived in a 1980’s teen movie, but it is more likely that he called you “fucker” and pooped on your porch after egging your house.

Why We Hate Them:

This guy shows up commenting on any video or news story that involves a fist fight or confrontation. He’s quick to remind us of what a badass he is in the real world, and is quick to make physical threats (”You want to come to Jersey and say that to my face??!?!?!”).

After spending his formative years settling disputes on high school football fields, he’s desperate to be the same kind of bully online he is in the real world. But he’s found himself in a strange realm where huge biceps don’t seem to count for anything, and is having a tough time making the adjustment.

No, you can’t punch people over an internet connection, Macho Man. We’ve tried it.

Actual Examples:

Typical Comment:

“I’d like to see you do any better. What have you ever done with your life? Stop judging people and let everyone be who they want to be because, in the end, isn’t that what life is all about?”

(NOTE: This comment is usually followed by someone replying with a shatteringly eloquent: FAG!)

Who Are They?

The Great Defender sees himself or herself as a moral crusader, like a cross between Batman and Jesus. In reality they are more like a cross between Jeremy Piven and that annoying girl who always feels the need to inject herself into every conversation, at least long enough to let you know she holds the moral high ground.

Why We Hate Them:

Much like the Non-Believer up there, it’s the knee-jerk nature of the Great Defender that’s so annoying. You can have a YouTube video of a group of neo-Nazis shooting puppies out of a cannon, and the Great Defender will jump in with, “Wow you have to wonder what kind of trauma these guys had growing up that caused them to be so misguided. Some of you are so quick to judge.”

That, or they may chime in with the much more annoying, “There are millions of starving children in the world, and you guys are getting worked up over some puppies?”

That seems to be the Great Defender’s favorite weapon, which works on the premise that we’re not allowed to get mad at anything as long as something worse is going on elsewhere.

You know what? If we want to be outraged, let us. That’s why we watch those videos, it makes us feel better about ourselves. Sure, we may have stolen some movies off Bittorrent, but at least we didn’t fire puppies out of a cannon while we were doing it.

Actual Examples:

Typical Comment:

“I think you’ll find that when you mix pure Hydrogen with Oxygen you don’t produce water (2H2O) as would be expected, you, in fact, create an explosion. So it is perfectly normal that this video shows an explosion during the attempted grafting of Helium (He) and Sodium (Na).”

Who Are They?

This guy knows everything about the laws that govern the known universe, even the stuff science hasn’t figured out yet. He has an education, works in a lab (or claims to) and has devoted his extraordinary gifts to telling strangers on the internet that they are wrong.

Why We Hate Them:

This guy is the brainiac version of the Macho Man. His goal is not to inform others, but just to make it clear that he knows way, way more than them. This is the guy who stops an entire game of poker because you didn’t “burn” the top card before the river.”

There’s of course a reason this guy is hanging out on YouTube instead of some forum full of other professionals. He gets off on being right so much that he actively seeks out the company of people who are chronically wrong.

He seems to be wholly unaware that showing up in the comments section under some retarded YouTube video is about as impressive as challenging a room full of kindergartners to a fight. Winning is almost as bad as losing.

Actual Examples:

Typical Comment:

“Damn spic, send him back to mexico!”

(NOTE: This is usually posted in a video about Mexicans actually in Mexico.)

Who Are They?

If you need to be told, then you are probably him. He’s white, suburban, middle-class, and the only time he’s been to the inner city was when Mom and Dad’s SUV took a wrong turn in Atlanta because the GPS malfunctioned.

Why We Hate Them:

The internet has done wonders for racism. This guy probably never utters a racist word out in the real world, but once he can hide behind an avatar on the internet… BAM! Mr. KKK the Nazi Loving Aryan Prince rears his ugly head.

If the video or story or photo has a black person in it, this guy will be there unleashing all of the racial epitaphs he’s been forced to bottle up while in polite society.

There is also a second tier of these guys who are slightly more educated, in the sense that they have memorized half a dozen highly suspect statistics that support their racism (”Blacks have smaller brains. It’s not racist, it’s true.”) They don’t mind that their views on race would have seemed old-fashioned about 40 years ago. They tell themselves they do it for the humor and shock value, which isn’t much better since those jokes stopped being funny or shocking about 39 years ago.

Actual Examples:

Typical Comment:

“your a fag”

Who Are They?

This commenter is in and out in a flash, they will usually only post one comment, no more no less, just enough to get the job done. The ninja will lay in wait while some comment section argument rages. Then, just as everyone has stopped caring whether or not the new Harry Potter trailer looks stupid, the ninja will strike with such grace and precision that it will devastate everyone who stumbles across his comment, forever changing their lives.

Why We Hate Them:

Their style of drive-by insult is the sort of thing you can’t get away with in real life, where shit-stirrers can get called out and often beaten. We can only imagine that he is sitting at home rubbing his hands, glowing in his accomplishment as he watches replies pile up for hours under a cheap insult it took him four seconds to type.

He sees himself as the internet equivalent of the Joker, spreading chaos for chaos’ sake. He laughs maniacally towards the heavens, before breaking into a coughing fit and reaching for his asthma inhaler.

Actual Examples:

Typical Comment:

“How can you guys sit here and watch a video about two girls pooping into a cup when America is being turned into a Fascist police state?”

Who Are They?

These are almost always college kids who, in the last few months, have begun reading about politics. Unfortunately, all of their reading comes from inflammatory blogs and YouTube videos with techno background music and scary titles.

These guys have just now figured out that–gasp–there is corruption in politics, and now they’re storming into every comment box they can find with guns blazing, ready to inform the rest of us about how the world really works.

Why We Hate Them:

Aside from the fact that these people have basically no real education on the topic, grossly exaggerate every issue and cling to every single conspiracy theory that comes along, they are by far the most in-your-face of all of the personalities on this list.

We almost wouldn’t mind them if they aimed their comments at videos and articles that actually have something to do with politics. But these guys will inject their love for their favorite politician (ie, Ron Paul) under a YouTube video of a toddler on a trampoline. The only thing that makes us feel better is knowing most of them aren’t old enough to vote.

Actual Example:

Posted after a video about one guy sucker punching another guy in a McDonalds.

Typical Comment:

“That video was FUNNY!!! For more funny videos visit www.fakesite.com/vn/TrojanHorseVirus.rar”

Who Are They?

“They” are not real, they are usually a computer that searches websites and creates fake accounts to post ads about bullshit websites that are often so riddled with spyware that even the pop-ups are enough to shoot sparks and hunks of melted plastic out of your PC.

Why We Hate Them:

Aside from the obvious (that we wanted funny videos but instead we got shit load of midget porn spam and became the 10,000,001th victim of identity theft) there’s the fact that these aren’t always computer programs. Often they’re employees who spend all day manually signing up to websites to post their spam. Regular Bots may screw up our computer. But the idea of humans that do this for a living is just depressing.

The thing is, it’s even worse than the most annoying legitimate advertising, because these spammers don’t even intend for you to click the link. They’re just pasting in code because it helps their search engine rankings (you rank higher on Google when your URL appears on lots of other sites). That’s why instead of some kind of enticing link to a product (which, hell, we might even enjoy, who knows) you often get a jumbled bunch of meaningless code meant purely to fool a search engine.

Actual Examples:

See the comment section for more examples.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16605_p2.html

Tags: copy-paste